I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
