bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
