Got a toothbrush?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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