OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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