Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
