I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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