i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
