I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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