maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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