heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
