i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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