This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
