I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize