the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
