soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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