So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Even my vagina gasped.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
