Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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