College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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