Me too!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
