i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
