but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
