i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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