so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
