Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
