she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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