C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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