Soap is not a condiment
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
