We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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