One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
