there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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