when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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