No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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