12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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