i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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