The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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