I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
