Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
false alarm, still single
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