Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
