so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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