similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
