5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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