yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
