Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize