Having a random hookup so left but love u
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
