you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
