She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize