remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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