Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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