I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think I won the penis lottery.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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