He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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