when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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