Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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