You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
