some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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