Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
