I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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