what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize