bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
